Why Couldn't I Just Stick With the Critters?
by Phoebe097
Summary: **G/D** "Ever seen The Hangover?" "Yeah" "Well, what I'm going through is kind of like that except, not at all." **Warnings: Swearing, Adult Content, Drug Usage, Other Stuff Not Meant For The Kiddies**
1. What in god's name

AN: Hey guys. It's been awhile. I'm happy to inform you I'm going to start a new multi- chap fic no spoilers though Enjoy, R&R, fav, comment, whatever, just no flames please.

P.S: This is a G/D pairing fic, if you don't like it, don't read, that's all I have to say.

Disclaimer: lol

Sunshine leaked through the window like a beam of unnerving happiness, instantly waking all who glanced its way. But the sleeping form lying in the bed under the window did not stir, let alone rise from her slumber. Little did she know of the wakeup call soon to come…

Outside a small group of critters gathered in front of the girl's birch colored home, smiling and nodding to each other as they proceeded to climb up the rain gutter towards the window. The first to the top were a couple of joyous squirrels, followed by some cheerful chirping bluebirds, as well as a cutesy wootsy little rabbit and many others.

They proceeded to wake the Goth from her sleep. Mumbling something foul into her pillow she groggily rose from the velvet black sheets, only to be confronted by many a' happy critter smiling at her on the foot of her bed.

"What the fu-"

Suddenly the tiny animals burst out into song and began to lift the teen from her bed.

"_Oh Gwen, Oh Gwen!" _the tiny birds tweeted as they fluttered under her.

"_You know it's time to start the day!"_ a chipmunk cheered

"_Gwen, oh Gwen!"_ more birds came and added to the cloud

"_We have to wake you up this way!"_ a plump raccoon smiled

"What?" She asked,now thoroughly confused.

"_Gwen you know,"_ the flock of birds began hovering towards her window as the many other small animals opened it. An adorable bunny stepped forward and began to explain,

"_If we don't wake you soon you'll see, just how deep in shit creek you'll be, so Gwen just please wake up and try, if you can, not to cryyyyyyyy…"_

Staring suspiciously out her window which, last time she checked, wasn't four stories off the ground, she asked

"Is this a dream?"

" _WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" _The critters screamed stomping on the ground, and tossed her out the window.

"HOLY SHI-"

Gwen sat up abruptly from her bed, drenched in sweat and completely sore from head to toe.

"Some dream…" she muttered to the empty room. No wait… this wasn't her room…

Tarnished walls bore witness to tacky orange bed linens worn years beyond their prime. A ratty carpet hardly covered to entire floor, although there was not much floor to begin with. The room was indeed small, a miracle the king sized bed she presently sat in could fit. Gwen also took notice of the empty glasses and bottles scattered about amongst other garbage and discarded clothing.

"Delightful." She stated and began to climb out of the bed… only to gasp at the sight of her lack of clothing. She dashed back under the covers and glanced around the room again.

What the hell was her bra doing on the doorknob?

"What the _fuck_ happened last night..?" she groaned and shut her eyes tight, lying her aching head back against the single dingy pillow.

Suddenly something shifted in the sheets next to her. She glanced to her right and gasped,

"You tell me, sweetheart."


	2. Not next chapter

Just another AN: Hey guys I tried to upload the next chapter today but I'm still re- editing it and stuff, so hopefully it will be up tomorrow. I want to thank you for all the lovely reviews, they touch me more than usual because I really enjoy some your guys work! I intend to keep posting these kind of things if I'm a day behind (I want another chapter published every day) but I also wanted to ask you about any predictions for TDWT. I mean, I saw Duncan and Gwen kiss in one trailer! What other dream pairings do you guys think will pop up? When will the drama ensue? Where? Lol


	3. OMG IM SORRY THIS IS TAKING SO LONG!

Whew this chapter is taking longer than I thought. It appears to be impossible for me to update today or tomorrow, again I'm sorry. But I'm promise you not one, but two chapters, next time I update! Yes? Good.

**missezlovett**- I couldn't agree with you more! I'm sure that maybe next season we'll see some Alejandro/ Heather , it seems like they're just introducing him this season. Wonder what Justin thinks of him…

**TwistedXmo**- I assure you it's going to be! Except it's really long and explainy and that takes awhile to write…

**Duncan-Gwen-Roxx**- I promise I will!

**Gh gf**- Don't count on just the next chapter to explain everything!

**DuncanandGwen4ever**- glad you think so!

**Ghyttd and reader**- I'm glad to hear it! An updates coming your guy's way!

That's all for now, but first…

… what do you guys think/want to happen?


	4. Teenage Dream Nightmare Dream?

Well here's Two, the first one was short, yes, I know, that was intentional. This I promise will be longer.

Same warnings apply

I own nothing

Flaming does not make you a badass

And thank you all for the encouraging reviews! I lurv you guys!

"No."

"Yes. The word you're looking for is yes."

"NO."

"Hmmm… I am still speaking English, right?"

"Duncan, for the last fucking time, NO."

"But-"

"No!"

"I just wanted-"

"No!"

"Will you hear me out?"

"NO!"

Gwen stormed off in a huff, the blessed bell signaling the end of a mind bogglingly long school day. Mind bogglingly long for one, it was Friday, and two, Duncan would not stop harassing her about her birthday party. Or lack thereof…

Yes, tomorrow was the one dreaded day of the year (besides Valentine's Day) little Gwennie despised with allher heart.

Duncan raced to catch up with the Goth, only to be blocked by the mass of students all fleeing to exit the building.

"Dammit."

There was no possible way he could get through, unless…

She thought she had escaped, after all her house was only two blocks away from Wawanakwa High. Gwen had raced out first, in front of the mindless horde and because of that she had a good head start in front of Duncan.

Sadly that couldn't be true.

As if they appeared out of thin air, her circle of friends, DJ, Geoff, Bridgette, LeShawna, and Duncan had her surrounded. Groaning she looked over at the delinquent,

"You got them to carry you out the window again didn't you?" she asked, recalling last year's intervention.

He answered with a triumphant nod.

"Unbelievable," she rolled her eyes, "There's no way I'm getting out of this am I?"

All of them nodded their heads.

Dropping her bag and sketchbook she folded her arms and stood defensively, prepared for whatever her harassers threw at her.

"Gwen, you need to have a B-Day bash, dude!" Geoff rushed forward and started shaking the living daylights out of her. She remained unimpressed.

"Why?" she asked simply, causing the part boy to stop rapidly.

Geoff was dumbstruck, muttering inconceivable words as he stepped back next to Bridgette.

"I didn't really think that far ahead…" Bridgette rubbed his arm, poor guy looked like he was near tears.

"Aww, well at least you tried honey…" the surfer encouraged then shot Gwen a look so ugly it could kill.

"Look what you did! Way to treat your friends, Gwen!"

Now, the Goth knew it was all an act, they did this every year since kindergarten, but damn that stung. Gwen tried not to show the hurt on her face. Oh, these guys were good. Damn good.

"Girl, a party would be good for you, everyone needs to socialize sometime. Even you." LeShawna stated bitterly

Impressive, they really had improved since last year.

"Besides, I already got you a present." Duncan stepped forward grabbing her by the waist. She kept her arms crossed but couldn't stop smirking up at him.

"One you and I will _both_ enjoy." He growled.

Oooh, very impressive.

Duncan was always flirting with her, not that she minded. The only problem it ever caused was the annoying rumors spread about the alleged "couple", but the two remained just friends like they always were the past 18 years. Always just friends.

For some reason that kind of bothered her, _just friends_. She thought of Duncan like a twin brother, yet seeing him with other girls made her cringe. At first she thought she was just jealous, after all Duncan had grown into a rather …_attractive…_ male, strong, tall, and he had that whole bad boy thing going on… but that's not the point. She hated seeing Duncan with those horrible sluts because they treated him like shit. To be fair, he didn't exactly worship them either- well, except one.

Courtney Perrone had won over Duncan's heart at the beginning of Junior year. Gwen just watched as he relentlessly pursued her, even after her constant threats for a restraining order. The guy would just not give up.

_What was it that Duncan loved about that gold digging bitch?_

It wasn't until after Duncan's insanely rich movie star uncle left him over a quarter- billion dollars that Courtney finally agreed to a date. A week passed and the two were officially a couple. They seemed truly in love, funny for polar opposites.

At least it was funny at first.

Then after a month or two, their "lover's spats" were getting out of hand, ending up with Duncan getting wasted and calling Gwen at 2:00 in the morning. Two months later the worst happened. Courtney lead Duncan into believing she got knocked up. Meanwhile she stole over $120 mil. right under his nose, then skipped town with her folks. No one's seen the Perrones' since.

That's why Gwen hated Duncan with other girls, she didn't want another heartbreaker. But she never entirely left the jealousy thing out either, though she would never admit it.

"Oh and what would _that_ be?" she teased back. Two could play this game.

"I'll have to give it to you later Sunshine…" he whispered hoarsely, "It wouldn't be right to do it _here_." His voice sent shivers down her spine.

"Hmm, so there's no chance I can get this _mind blowing _present a day early?" she toyed with him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Maybe I could give you a _taste_…" he leaned in closer to her, his lips practically an inch away from hers… and then he stepped back.

"…if you let us throw you a party." He stood triumphantly, a cocky grin plastered on his face.

_Dirty bastard._

She sighed, defeated, and threw up her arms, "OK. Fine, you guys win. You can throw me a damn birthday party."

The group cheered and proceeded to plan for tonight.

"Dudes it can't be at my place, parents are actually home for once, man," Geoff declared glumly

"Umm, there's no way I'm going to get away with a party at my house," Gwen remarked

"Oh I know! What about the Miller place? They only moved out a couple weeks ago right?" offered DJ

"Sweet idea brah! Me and Bridge will go get some sick party supplies and-"

"-Don't waste your money, bro. Old man's got all we need to party in the fridge," Duncan stated

"Hey, I got a kick ass sweet Somy 360 surround sound shockerbuster stereo. I just gotta bring it. Cool?" said DJ

"Very cool! So it's settled, Millers' at 10," said Bridgette

"Sweet," Geoff and Bridgette left together and everyone else did too, not long after.

"See you later sweetheart!" Duncan yelled as he ran off.

"Right back at you babe!" Gwen shouted back

Of course with Duncan gone, Leshawna and Gwen were left alone.

"What?" she smiled at her friend. She had her best Bitch- Don't-Tell-Me-**What**-Face on.

"God for the last time, me and Duncan are-"

"Just friends. MmmHmm. Yeah right. Girl, you know you wouldn't be having a party if you didn't think you'd get some with Danger Boy tonight."

Gwen turned noticeably crimson before stuttering madly.

"I- I N-Ne- Never… W-Wha… W-who d-do you think you… UGH,"

LeShawna was tearing up after laughing so hard. Finally her howling subsided, and she managed to say,

"Oh and by the way, I was the one who started those nasty '_rumors'_ 'bout y'all," before walking home. Somewhere not so far behind her she could hear a loud and flustered,

"_I KNEW IT!"_

_No._

_No._

_Definitely not._

_I… I…I own that?_

It had been hours after she had given into having a birthday party, and Gwen was still rummaging through her closet trying to find something other than her usual to wear. After gagging at about three more explosively pink dresses, she finally settled on a black corset with purple lace-up detailing and her matching plaid mini. Accompanied by studded black boots and purple fishnet stockings she was ready to go-

-almost.

After quickly reapplying hereyeliner, she eyed her jewelry box hesitantly. The huge black thing was lying on her dresser amongst discarded clothing and tubes of lip gloss. Checking the time she realized it was only twenty to ten, and hastily marched over to the box. Flipping open the lid, she saw a purple velvet choker adorned with a red spider pendant standing out like sore thumb.

After delicately clasping it into place she did a once over in the mirror,

_Not half bad, wonder what Duncan will think…_ After all he was the more _descriptive_ one of her friends. She recalled how yesterday he told her, her skinny jeans looked "fucking sexy" on her.

She laughed lightly, and with one quick "be home before you know it" to her mom she headed out the door.

Gwen's house was only half-a-block away from the Miller place, and even as she padded down the sidewalk just in front she could already hear the noise coming from the party.

_I guess word got out…_

Within no time she was knocking on the front door, some latest and greatest pop song bursting loud through the stereo inside. The door flew open with a very excited, if not intoxicated, looking DJ barely standing up,

"Gwen? Ooh my god I didn't know you'da be here!" he slurred.

_Wow Duncan wasted no time at all getting everyone hammered._

"Umm, DJ it's kinda my party."

"Ohh yeah!" he shouted, grabbing her arm and yanking her inside. Slamming the door shut, he whistled loud and clear, well after a few tries, and grabbed everyone's attention,

"THE BIRTHDAY GIRL'S HERE!" , and proceeded to fall down.

After much cheering and even a few drunken cat calls, the partiers went back to drinking and gossiping with each other. Gwen quietly stepped in further noting that word definitely got out.

See, whenever a party was to be held in the small town, nearly all of Wawanakwa came rushing through the door. It was actually the one place where the freaks didn't fuck with the geeks and the plastics usually kept their dirty mouths shut. Usually…

"Who you callin easy, you cheap ass byitch?" Heather blurted

"Oh I might be cheap all right, but at least I don't go 'round suckin cock for a livin." LeShawna calmly countered, a few "Ooohs" chimed in around her.

"Fat whore!"

"Fugly slut!"

_Shit…_

Gwen ran over to the large crowd surrounding the two girls, eventually squeezing through so she could see Bridgette struggling to hold back LeShawna and Beth holding Heather. Quickly she ran over to Bridgette and began to help her, hoping that soon LeShawna would back down.

"Fuck this! Lindsay! We're going home!" Heather pulled out of Beth's grip, causing the poor girl to fall face down.

"But I'm still looking for Tyler…" the blonde bombshell complained.

"NOW!"

And soon, the wicked bitch and her cronies were out the door.

"Glad that's over." Bridgette grinned as she let go of Leshawna.

"Damn that girl's gotta learn to shut it, wouldn't 'a messed with her if she didn't start smack talkin' my smoooooth moves." She commented, generating a laugh from the other two girls.

Taking another look around the room Gwen chuckled, "God, we seem to be the only ones still sober around here."

They laughed, but it was true. There was Geoff sliding down the stair balcony, bottle in hand, and Justin doing body shots. Even that bookworm Noah was running around butt naked with a lampshade on his head. Duncan had really pulled out all the stops on this one.

"Well not everyone." A gruff voice erupted from behind her, holding her close with one arm and handing her a drink in the other. She rolled her eyes and glanced over at her two friends,

"Well, I better get Geoff before he ends up killing himself," Said Bridgette before she walked off

"Same can be said for DJ, poor thing looks like he needs to head on home," LeShawna said, concern in her voice. She started heading over to him, then swiftly turned around,

"Remember what I told you earlier…" she directed at Gwen, pointing at Duncan.

Guess she was all alone with tall, dark, and handsome.

"What did she say?" Duncan asked, a suggestive smirk hinting he knew Gwen's reply allready. Gwen began to blush madly, which resulted in her snatching away one of the bottles in his hand. After taking a rather long swig, she said

"Oh, nothing, don't worry about it. Come on, sit down with me. I think that couch looks comfy don't you?" she babbled pulling him with her.

"Yeah wow this couch is… awesome," he agreed sarcastically "So I'm taking it LeShawna won't leave the whole just friends thing alone?" he stated plainly, wrapping an arm around her back.

She groaned and leaned into his side, "Ugh, no. She thinks the only reason I'm having this party is so I can 'get some' from you tonight," she replied, adding her very own air quotes.

He rubbed her shoulder soothingly and she closed her eyes. He would make an awesome pillow… if he wasn't so damn loud. She glanced up at him to see him chuckling, "It's ok Sunshine, everyone wants a piece of the Duncan sometime. You don't have to be ashamed."

She rolled over on her back with her head in his lap and started to crack up.

"Pffff, You- you better watch that ego there, mister." She laughed even harder when he frowned. It was really hard to take him seriously when his brow furrowed, and he shushed her with her drink. She began to calm down lightly, and they both took another long swig. Then she began giggling even more,

"Shut up,"

She sipped at her drink again. The bottle was nearly empty. She poked Duncan in the arm,

"Your majesty commands you to bring her another beverage. Up, up." She clapped with a mock British accent.

"What am I your fucking slave?"

"For you majesty's birthday, yes, yes you are."

"Fine," he said, then picked her up and carried her on his shoulder.

"Duncan what the hell are you doing? PUT ME DOWN DAMMIT!" she screamed

"Oh but a servant to your majesty couldn't leave her alone with such drunken perves near, could he?" he stated with another mock accent.

"Oooo jealous of other perves getting in my pants are we?"

"Am not."

"Are so."

"Am NOT." He insisted

"Don't be ashamed Duncan, everyone wants a piece of the –" She was silenced as he put her down and handed her a plastic red cup filled with some sort of yellow drink.

"Mmmmm, what is this?" asked Gwen

_**You think I'm pretty**__**  
**__**Without any make-up on**_

"I dunno. Tastes good, though." Duncan replied flatly, taking a sip of his own drink

_**You think I'm funny**__**  
**__**When I tell the punch line wrong**_

"Damn straight." She giggled, "Wait a second…"

_**I know you get me**__**  
**__**So I'll let my walls come down, down**_

"What?"

"I fucking love this song! Come dance with me…" she shouted over the blaring music. He stood frozen in place, listening to the song with distaste. She pulled on his arm jumping up and down,

"Please? Please? Pleeeease?"

He stared at her puppy dog pout and big pleading eyes.

_Dammit, that's not fair, she's too cute when she does that._

Sighing heavily, he caved, "Fine. Only 'cus it's your birthday."

_Before you met me__  
__I was a wreck__  
__But things were kinda heavy__  
__You brought me to life_

_Now every February__  
__You'll be my valentine, valentine_

"You know technically it's not till tomorrow." She yelled as they moved onto the dance floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck while he placed his hands on her hips. They began to move lightly with the pace of the music.

"Oh so does that mean I'm free to go?" he joked pulling away. She grabbed his arm and pulled him even closer to her.

She smacked his chest, "And all those times you called you me a sexy goth bitch…"

He saw right through her upset tone, "Oh Sunshine it's not your hot ass, it's me. I hate this song!"

She giggled. He really was a dick sometimes, but for that she loved him. In like a brotherly way… sort of…

She'd always loved Duncan, and being this close to him, staring up at those piercing blue eyes really did make her question her whole relationship with him. In her head he had always been a brother, but something else told her differently. She loved the bold ten year old with spiky black hair jumping off the playground, she loved the rebellious teen who would put gum in Heather's hair for her, and she loved the green- haired badass he was now. Maybe it was the drink talking, but she really wanted to show him how much she loved him now. Even if that meant grabbing his ass and pulling away from him.

_Let's go all the way tonight__  
__No regrets, just love_

She grinned wickedly up at him. Her hands were raised in the air as she rocked her hips in rhythm with the music. Her body twisted and turned seductively right in front of his eyes, that grin never leaving her face for a second.

_We can dance until we die_

Now she mercilessly teased him as her fingers lightly touched every curve of her body, slowly, tortuously. She let him know he could have her any second. That he could touch her as intimately, yet he remained paralyzed, like he was frozen to the floor.

_You and I__  
__We'll be young forever_

His mind rattled for an explanation to what she was doing. No he knew what: she was dancing. Dancing for him. What he was looking for was a reason why.

He knew Gwen wasn't a prude, but playing temptress in front of a group of extremely horny boys wasn't exactly her style. But he couldn't stop himself from adoring every inch of her luscious figure. The way her endlessly long pale legs worked their way up to that barely- legal skirt, the way her hips rocked steadily, enticingly… with that dastardly grin matched by her darkening eyes, it was almost too much.

___You make me__  
__Feel like__  
__I'm living a _

_Teenage Dream__  
__The way you turn me on__  
_

He couldn't take it, ignoring the voice inside telling him this was his best friend- the one girl he shouldn't do this with, he pulled her to him. She immediately froze and looked deep into his eyes, caught off guard by his sudden boldness. They were so close it was agonizing. He wanted her so badly, to tear that corset right off of her and take her here and now. But his deeply intoxicated mind still knew that was wrong, so he stared at her. He looked right back into her eyes and begged silently, maybe for just a _taste_…

_I can't sleep__  
__Let's runaway__  
__And don't ever look back__  
_

She'd wanted this for so long, to feel his icy lips on hers. It was passionate, but not loving, not tender… yet he was still gentle. He grabbed onto her waist tight, but not painfully. For tonight that kiss was perfect. But in the back of her mind she knew she would sadly forget it in the morning.

_Don't ever look back__  
_

The kiss deepened as his tongue demanded entrance, which she happily complied. It was everything she dreamed, the taste of him, the unexplainable familiarly of it all. Like a nonexistent nostalgia.

They kiss heated up quickly, both knowing that a little make out session wouldn't cut it for tonight. The rawness of his passion (and the bulge in his pants) told her he needed something more. Something she needed as well.

Gwen pulled back and began dragging him past the large crowd and headed upstairs. Through the long hallway she settled on entering what appeared to be a master bedroom, although quite small. After he slammed shut the door she let go of his arm and sat on the edge of the bed grinning. Beckoning him over with a finger he growled and positioned himself on top of her, rolling farther onto the bed. She pulled his lips down to hers but he immediately shot back. A small frown formed on her pale face.

"Only one problem, Sunshine. Clothes. Off."

Within an instant she was back under him, kissing him fiercely on the lips. He began to trail small butterfly kisses down her neck, taking extra pleasure in nipping the small sensitive part above her collarbone. His hands traveled the length of her curves causing her to gasp and moan at his touch. Black painted nails dug their way into his shoulder, while his mouth traveled lower and lower until it began to suck tenderly on her breast.

She let out another pleading moan, as his right hand began to tease her other nipple. She arched her back into him and held her arms above her head.

"Duncan…"

He left her breast for her mouth and kissed her roughly. Leaving her mouth for only a moment to hear her moaning,

"I need you…"

He abruptly parted from her and looked her straight in the eye, his brain realizing the importance of her words.

"…Are you sure?"

She nodded shyly, and he grasped her hand.

_Now there's the Gwen I know and love._

He kissed her once more before she let her hand down and guided him into her. She knew this was going to hurt. There was no way around it. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her hand and grabbed onto his shoulder tightly….

And he broke her.

He stopped, not wanting to increase her pain further and glanced up at her. A single silvery tear was running down her cheek. He wiped it away and kissed her.

_That, was a loving kiss... this is still Duncan right?_

Slowly he began to pull nearly all the way out of her and thrust back in again. Gradually the pleasure began to outweigh the pain and she was begging for him to go faster, harder. Her nails dug deeper into his back and she held onto his hand until it turned white. Their pace quickened, and she began to rock her hips, finding a steady rhythm with his thrusts. Their sounds of pleasure echoed throughout the room, completely drowning out the noise from the party below.

He pounded mercilessly into her, and held on as long as he could before climaxing, she following soon after. Gwen called his name, and Duncan collapsed on top of her, both sharing the comfort of each other's presence.

After a moment to catch their breath, he pulled out of her, and rolled over onto the bed. She cuddled up against him and he wrapped an arm around her, soon falling fast asleep.__

"…I love you…" he whispered, getting a soft snore in response._  
_

Yet another AN: Ok, I gave it my all- or at least most of my all- to make this a good chapter for you guys. Review?


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